two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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