U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize