im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
