:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
