I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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