Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
