I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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