hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
