Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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