just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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