It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
