ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Apparently you make a good broom.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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