4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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