He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
