are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
