I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
