my soul wont recognize me after tonight
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
