My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
