first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
