3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
