Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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