It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
