Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
