i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Randomize
