is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
only you would photoshop your dick
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
