She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
