everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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