The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Do vagina's smell?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize