do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
