Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
