Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
