At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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