I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize