i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
