if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
