I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
