My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
