I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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