yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
