I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
