Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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