i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
