i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize