whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
