ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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