Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
pop tarts are not kleenex
bring money and cleavage
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
