Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
