The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
