I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
