I hate your face
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
