At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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