They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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