i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
