i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
