i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
