Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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