she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
