sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I need a beard to bite.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
