I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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