i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
