i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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