I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize