Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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