so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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