thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
