After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize