at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
