It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
bring money and cleavage
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
