do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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